Why Teens Struggle to Live Up To Their Maximum Potential
Created on April 29, 2025, 11:51 a.m. - by Jumana, Dina
“If he had been a little more attentive, he must have achieved straight A’s or earned an XYZ award.”
This is a common phrase that you might have heard coming from teens’ parents. But do you wonder why it happens?
Well, there’s a big difference between intelligence and dedication. Most of the time, kids are intelligent and can even crack some complicated code, but they lack dedication and the right guidance.
Being a parent of two kids, I have realized that it’s pretty natural to expect amazing things from your child. However, at the same time, a parent also has to motivate the child and show them the right direction.
In this blog, we will discuss the most important reasons why teens fail to live up to their potential. In addition, you must read this blog till the end to know how parents’ role of cater to such a situation.
Is evaluating “potential” a problem?
There’s no single test or a way to test your child’s potential. This is something that we as parents need to understand and stop the wrong assessment of a child.
Focus on weakness > strength
When it comes to assessing a teen’s potential, it often focuses more on the weaknesses. For example, statements like “he’s not giving his best” or “he’s not putting his maximum effort” can be really disturbing for a child to bear. As a result, this kind of act often ends up disengagement and demotivating a child. Not only this, but parents also suffer from frustration.
Important point:
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Unrealistic expectations
Setting unrealistic demands or expecting something way too out of a child is WRONG. In addition, parents often set certain expectations, which could be both high and low, depending on the space they live in and a child’s intelligence. Hence, this leads to parents’ frustration. In addition, this intolerance and frustration are often linked with poor academic performance and extreme academic stress (Chen et al, 2015).
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Unmeasurable
How would you know what’s the potential of a person? How can it be measured? Even an athlete who has won a gold medal in the Olympics might wonder if they could have performed better with more practice. Hence, success is not really associated with it.
As a result, this act often makes a child believe that no matter what they do or achieve, it’s always worthless to their parents.
Wang and Maguire-Jack (2018) found that parents who have high expectations from their kids often inadvertently nurture the developmental of moral disengagement and aggression in a child.
No clear solution
Let’s picture this scenario for a minute: You are a 14-year-old teen who’s struggling with the academic pressure. On top of that, your parents are imposing dozens of instructions on you and are pressuring you to perform well. How would you feel? Clueless. Blank. Zoned-out!
Hence, assessing a kid and having high expectations leave a child in the dark room of his thoughts. In addition to that, he wondered how things went wrong on his side. Why can’t he be a reason that his parent feel proud?
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Solutions for Parents to Support Teens
I know it sounds really scary, that even my inner child wants to be left alone right now and sob quietly. Well, this is actually what most of the children do!
So, as a parent, there are a few ways to address these problems and create magical ways for your child to grow. These are:
- Accept the reality: I know one of the hardest truths is that there’s no other solution than accepting the reality. Therefore, as a parent, if you know that your child lacks IQ or extreme intelligence, accept it and embrace it!
- Focus on the strengths: Every child has their own strengths and weaknesses. Thus, it’s best to always focus on the strengths. Although keep on highlighting the weaknesses as well to improve them.
- Set realistic expectations: It’s you and your kid. No one other than you knows and understands your child better. So, keeping in mind their skills and capacity to perform, set realistic expectations.
- You’ve got their back: most of the time, everything that a kid wants from his parent is reassurance. So, tell them that you are always there for them.
Parenting methods
For a parent, it’s vital to know some parenting methods that can be successfully used in various situations for addressing their teens’ difficult phase. Some of them are:
- Authoritative parenting: This type of parenting sets clear rules and boundaries for a child. However, at the same time, a child gets warmth and is allowed to openly communicate with his parents. Hence, it promotes discipline and confidence.
- Authoritarian parenting: It’s high on demandingness and less on responsiveness. In addition, parents set strict rules for their children and also expect them to follow them without any disobedience.
- Permissive parenting: This kind of parenting allows children to openly communicate and is more lenient. In addition, a kid has the authority to make his own decisions and follow his passion.
These are a few parenting methods that can be useful to cater to such situations. However, every parent and child is different. Therefore, there’s no hard and fast rule that these would work for you. Instead, you must assess your problem and make changes accordingly.
Final Words
In conclusion, every child has unique strengths and challenges. As parents, it’s essential to understand that potential isn’t always measurable by grades or external achievements. Focusing on a child’s strengths, setting realistic expectations, and providing emotional support can help them thrive. Also, it’s important to guide and encourage, and not pressure, where teens can discover their true potential. Parenting methods like authoritative parenting offer a balance of discipline and support, but every child is different. Ultimately, understanding and adapting to each child’s needs can lead to a more positive and fulfilling journey for both parents and teens.